A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with someone I met in class. After we started talking for a while, he asked if we could hang out after class, at which point I immediately became uncomfortable. You see, I had already spent 5 minutes trying to pretend I didn’t notice him staring at my barely visible breasts (which just about fill a B-cup, mind you) underneath my over-sized, warm winter sweater, and I was not exactly eager to prolong our time together. The fact that he also began the conversation by asking if I was 18 yet makes this behaviour all the more sketchy, but enough about that. Here’s how the rest of the conversation went, after it turned to a question about my sexuality:
“Wait, you’re a lesbian?” he asks.
“Yes. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Well, it’s just like you can usually tell.” Sensing my confusion, he quickly adds, “like Rosie O’donnell or something.”
“Right. Because all lesbians are overweight comedians.”
“Well, no,” he says apologetically, “but you know.”
A brief silence ensues. I’m hoping he’ll lay off, but I begin to feel sorry for the idiot and make the mistake of speaking again. “You still look confused,” I offer, hoping he’ll take the chance to redeem himself.
“Well you just like, make out with other girls?”
“Yeah, that’s generally what lesbians do,” I say lightly, still hoping he’ll begin to understand. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen.
“But I mean, you’d like never make out with like, me?” Pause. “Or any guy,” he adds.
“No,” I say firmly. Still not getting it.
“Wow. You know, I still wouldn’t have guessed you’re a lesbian. Not that you all look the same, but most are just… butch, you know? But I guess you’re not one of those. Like when you’re in a relationship, she’s the guy?”
“No, neither one of us is the guy. We’re both women. That’s kind of the point.”
Awkward silence. I think he gets it, I think he gets it!
And then comes the icing on the cake.
“Well, I do love watching girls make out.”
LMAO! That’s probably the funniest thing I have read in awhile! He should just “Shhhh”. :p
This was one of the funniest things I’ve read today. But yes, total social casualty on his part!
Epic fail.
Wow, some people are dense.
But he did give me a good laugh, at least something good came out of that conversation.
LOL … It’s terrible that I’ve had a good number of conversations along the same lines though. Some people are just really, really, really thick.
LOL!
The cheek of that last thing he said to you!
My manager tried to set me up with a girl the other day. I feel your pain.
This is so classic. lol
I’m glad he was just a bit dense and not a complete jerk.
I love how he tried to redeem himself, but “okay” > “I like watching girls make out!”
What an uncomfortable conversation. Amusing, but uncomfortable no doubt. No hope for males in general.
LOL wow…
WOW. I have to tell you I love the way you narrate your posts about conversations you have with people.
I’ve been in two relationships with lesbians who “make out with guys”, so maybe this guy creeps me out more than he should. I guess I make a distinction between a man and a lesbian focusing on something inappropriate they both enjoy, and the man focusing on the lesbian inappropriately.
The worst conversations for me were the ones trying to convince young girls I had 0 interest in (like a friend’s little sister) that no, we can’t get married, and no, waiting 6 years until you are 18 is not a good idea.
Oh my, what an idiot! lol
That was really funny. Such an idiot.
I can’t help but laugh at people like that. They’re just so stupid.
I’m part of my school’s GSA, and there are a bunch of cheerleaders in it who are lesbians, and when people find out their reaction is generally, “…. really?”
HAHA. Ohmygod that made my dad, what an ass.
made my day*
I lose my ability to type when Im uber amused.
hehehe this made my day!
hm, did he really think he could save it with that last remark?! ignorant ass..
Lol, that’s probably the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.
He was such an idiot, and that last comment! *shakes head*
As funny as the way he put the question might sound, I am interested in knowing the answer.
I think what he wanted to know was, “Are you the dominant, or the submissive, partner in your lesbian relations, or, do you feel there is no more dominant partner?”
Hahaha, oh my. Open mouth, insert foot much?
What makes it more funny is that he didn’t even get it!
I can’t believe my half of the human race is that stupid!
Y-Chromosomes aren’t supposed to contain any building directions for the BRAIN.
Props for being strong and all.
Oh wow. That’s… odd. I only had one guy try to chat me up, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wouldn’t be interested.