The other night, my mother came home from a Bat Mitzvah with my father. As a former 13-year-old girl, I’m very familiar with how these parties go, but my mother is less in touch with reality, expecting ‘religious celebrations’ to be a little more conservative. If you’ve never been to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, all you need to know is that the party portion of the experience is sort of like a Sweet 16 celebration, but often more extravagant and with 100+ middle schoolers running around in clothes they probably consider to be sexy. Anyway, some of what my mother had to say about the party was just too priceless not to share…
“They had this ‘cocktail hour’ thing and none of it was really my kind of food. It was, you know, chicken wings and all that bullshit. So I just went and took some raw carrots.” I think she considers this ‘indulging.’
“Oh, god. Then we walked into this crowded room and all I could hear was this noise. Unbelievable noise. It was so loud. I think the kids call it music.” She was serious, and highly confused by what was coming out of the speakers. She was even more confused by the dancing that accompanied this music.
“These girls, you know, were all wearing these dresses and pulling them up. Strapless dresses in the winter. And they are thirteen. It was ridiculous.” This included a mess of rather interesting hand motions that I think were supposed to mimic the act of pulling up one’s dress.
“There was this man sitting across from us, and he was just groping some woman. Groping her. I mean, he practically had his fingers up her ass.” No comment.
“But at least they had an open bar. I had club soda.” Clearly, my mother is one party animal.
Note: I’m not being cruel. She reads this blog, and she will laugh. If she didn’t read this blog, I’d be sure to include a picture of what she was wearing. Now that is entertainment.
At this rate who knows how thirteen year olds will be acting in the next decade. I definitely hope your mother plans on continuing her party rounds, I’m sure her reactions will grow more and more critical…and therefore hilarious.
Haha, that sounds like my mother! That is totally cute.
On a more serious note, though, kids are definitely getting wilder to an extent and it’s a bit of a scary thing that things that used to be unacceptable is now the status quo.
haha, your mom sounds so cute! haha. And kids are getting kinda crazy these days; my 12 yr old niece knows about and knows people that do things that I don’t/didn’t even know at almost 24. It’s scary to think of what they will be like in 10 years!
I totally just read your twitter about the hotlinking images; I think it’d be HILARIOUS!
Oh boy, your mother does sound like quite the party animal, haha. It really sounds like some stuff my dad would say, especially about the music. My mom usually tries to pretend she understands what is going on concerning youth, so she would never verbally express how totally lost/confused she is.
I think our mothers would get along splendidly.
Add my own mother into the mix and we could all have a party of our own. Haha!
However, I do agree with Caity. What is considered to be norm for teenagers nowadays would have still been slight eye-brow raisers when I was 16. I have returned back home after university and seeing the students from my former high school hang out in malls is a shock for me because there is a stark difference in the mall-rats now than before.
I just hope we don’t become as our mothers. I’m sure they weren’t like this when they were young.
Your mother is so candid! I love it.
I must also be an old lady too though.
oh now i’d really like to see that picture please lol.
I couldn’t help but laugh at your mom’s description of the event… I can just imagine my mom saying the same things