There would normally be a picture here. And I should be telling you about the 30 day blogging challenge I had planned to start on Sunday and how I’m really excited about all of the projects I’m doing and all of that. Instead, I’m going to tell you about how my beloved laptop was stolen and how the universe just has it out for me, because at around noon yesterday, my roommate woke me up to let me know she thought our house had been broken into. As soon as I walked down the stairs, my heart just sank. My computer was gone, Kayla’s computer was gone, her iPod was gone, and my wallet had been rifled through. They took my cash but thankfully left my debit and credit cards, meaning it was probably a couple of junkies who were in and out pretty quickly. Still, I hadn’t gone to bed until about 7am, and our stuff was gone within an hour, which means they were probably watching me through the window (as if the mere fact that they were in this house going through my things wasn’t creeping me out enough…). What I’m really kicking myself for — besides not leaving the blinds shut at all times — is the fact that I even left my laptop on the table. Up until that point, I had not slept a day in this house without my computer by my bedside. People wonder why I’m so paranoid and protective of my computer, AND THIS IS WHY. Mark my words, Internet: I will never again break a habit of mine, ever.
Also, karma is a fucking joke. I mean, really. There are plenty of horrible people in the world. Why not break into their homes? Why not steal from other robbers? And racists? And sociopaths and sex offenders and people who throw bottles in the recycling bin without removing the fucking caps? BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH ANY OF THESE PEOPLE WOULD DESERVE THIS MORE THAN THE RESIDENTS OF FORT FUZZLEWORTH. Think I’m being unreasonable? Let’s consider all the things I’ve done in since moving into this house that contribute positively to the world:
1. I fed NinjaCat when she was trapped in our shed. Was it my food? Probably not. I think I stole it from one of my roommates. But really, I saved a life, so how relevant is that?
2. I also fed Taco C.C. Bear (my roommate’s hamster) and refilled her water when Morgan was gone for the night. I only really feed her because I think it’s funny when she spits out her food, but still, I basically saved her life. That’s life #2 since June, if you’re keeping track.
3. I wrote to Breyers about the fact that their ice cream melts in order to get a free container of it. This may not seem like a particularly honorable thing to do, but allow me to explain: their packaging was faulty, and caused the ice cream to melt all over my insulated Stop & Shop bag. By alerting them, I may have saved others from having this same dreadful experience. Also, Unilever is fucking evil, so anything they’re going to give me for free is well deserved.
I could go on, but I’m too busy fantasizing about all of the Home Alone style traps I’m going to set in this house until our guard dog arrives. The next person who tries to get into this house is going to find a fucking guillotine attached to our windows.
Joking aside, I’m glad that my housemates are all safe and that only two of us were in the house when this happened. It’s really scary to wake up to the unlocked doors and missing belongings and to just basically feel violated, but at least this will convince our landlady to let us set up some tighter security around this house. And I’m serious about the guard dog. She’d better change the fucking pet policy because my roommate’s hamster is just not cutting it. Taco witnessed everything and DID NOTHING. Never invest in a guard hamster. All they do is throw up their food and let robbers steal your shit.
UGH! That’s really awful and pisses me off that something like that would happen. I’ve never had a place broken into but I imagine I wouldn’t sleep for DAYS afterward. I’m really glad you guys are all okay.
I was pretty disappointed when my betta fish failed to garner a description on which family member dumped a pile of laundry in my bedroom, but your situation clearly qualifies you more for a guard dog. Go for a chihuahua-schnauzer. My mutt takes no shit from anyone!